Lemon 1: Bills. Two months ago I had no idea how expensive hospital stays are, or how valuable 5 minutes of a pediatrician's time is. Well, now I know all too well. And even after making a spreadsheet to try to make the bills seem manageable, the number they add up to is still very daunting. That number and these bills have consumed my thoughts. I have dreams about having to pay off a hefty bill and not having the means. I think every day, when will I be out of this debt?
Lemon 2: Crohn's. Taking care of someone can sap your energy and sleep, even if they are sleeping 8 hours in the night. Compounded with the stress of the bills, my Crohn's is honestly doing pretty poorly, although if someone inquires about my health I'll give a brief "just fine" and move on. I'm having to be tested to see if I have developed an immunity to the very medicine that has helped me most over the past 6 or so years. Before those results are in, I think about every worst case scenario- what if my greatest fear of having to get a bag connected to my intestines comes true? What if I have to do infusions at the hospital every week? How will I pay for that? When will I ever just feel good?
Lemon 4: Car troubles. Thankfully, I have almost learned how to laugh at car problems. I have the worst car luck in the world. I think I might be cursed, actually. I have been hit while in my parked car, I have had 6 tires go flat on me; my parked car was hit once while I was having surgery, I've hit ice and spun into a ditch totaling my car, and finally this past Sunday my new car was vandalized. Someone thought they were cool and took a bat to 12 cars in La Grange and mine was amongst them. Why do people do that? I can maybe understand doing that to take revenge on someone, but these people did it needlessly. When I went outside to see my car, all I could do was scream at the top of my lungs in frustration. Hey, at least they didn't take my "Baby On Board" sticker, right?
As far as bills go, I am still very much in debt, but not nearly as much as I could be. One day, Ian and I called the hospital to begin a payment plan for a $5,000 bill of John's that we were to pay completely out of pocket. Somehow, insurance covered all but $120.83. I'm chalking it up to a miracle.
In regards to my car troubles, insurance won't replace your windshield when you have minimum coverage, which is a bummer. But God provides and I had a generous donation given to me to help pay for my new glass, from a very godly man, which has greatly lifted that burden off of my shoulders.
I could still worry about my Crohn's and other health issues and how the rest of the bills will get paid, and I catch myself getting worked about every now and then (or more often than that). But I just read this verse which I am going to try to employ throughout the day every day:
Letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.
Romans 8:6
