Thursday, May 23, 2013

Little Momma Baby Talks?

There was a time once, a year before I had John Dashall (and at a time where I thought children were in my distant future), that I went to a park with my aunt and her three kids.  I was sitting nearby some of the moms, eavesdropping on their conversations, and I noticed they all talked about one thing - their kids.  And I just kept thinking to myself, don't these women have lives outside their kids?? Surely there are other, more interesting, things to talk about!!  And I said that day, that when I became a mom, I would still have the decency to talk about things other than my children.

Well...I did not stay true to my word.  My son is all I talk about anymore.  All I care to talk about.  And he is what I have going on so, even if I tried to talk about something else I wouldn't have anything to say!  Don't ask me how my son is unless you want a full report of how many poops he's had that day, how interesting his baby language is, and, of course, I could talk for an hour about how I think he's on the verge of rolling over!

The quintessential appearance of the tongue
Before I had my child, I couldn't stand baby talk.  My mindset was that, while babies can do their ooh-ing and coo-ing, as an adult who knows proper English, you should utilize that vocabulary and not sound like an idiot!! 

Yet, John has reached the "developmental milestone" (a phrase I am using all the time these days) of "conversing".  He coo's and ahh's and goo-goo's and then he will wait for a response from me...heaven forbid I respond in kind, but I do!!! And the conversation goes back and forth.  I don't feel stupid though or like I'm dumbing down for my baby, like I used to think it seemed.  I have found our baby conversations to be the best parts of my day!  We're connecting somehow, and I love that he's trying to tell me something, in his baby way, the only way he knows how. 

A nice, meaty thigh on the napping baby
Tomorrow I am going to lunch with a friend at a great restaurant called Cafe Lou Lou.  My hope is that I somehow don't monopolize the conversation talking about my baby, or even let some baby talk slip into the conversation.  If it does, I'll laugh it off while Savannah-From-A-Year-Ago will gasp, horrified that I have become just another one of the moms.  

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Little Momma Wins the Powerball!!!

The winnings for the Powerball are super high as of late.  600 million, I think was the last I heard.  So, like any normal person who doesn't normally gamble, Ian went and bought a $2 Powerball ticket yesterday. This led us to discussing what he would do with the money if, by some stretch of the imagination, he won.

He said first he would pay off all the hospital bills for John, which has been a cause of stress for the both of us, as well as my one semester of school debt.  He would buy one of those beautiful mansions in Cherokee Park.  He would pay for my brother and sister-in-law's adoption fees.  A substantial college fund would be started for John and for future children.  Invest some, save some for future children. Finish school online so he could spend as much time with our child as possible.Vacation to Fiji one day (my idea).

Full belly boy
Throughout this conversation, I started daydreaming of how life would be with that amount of money. All my problems, gone! I think.  The problem is, when I daydream, I don't just daydream.  I really believe that this will happen to me and I start planning for it.  I get excited about how glamorous and carefree my family's new life will be.  I'm suddenly on an interview with Giuliana Rancic about winning the lottery and how it's impacted me as a young mom.  I look in my bank account and- what- there's still money for a vacation home in Hawaii (or Jordan, hehe)?!?

He's Captain Adorable
The fact is, I'm never going to win the lottery.  And that's okay because I'm very blessed already.  I have an amazing little family; John is the best baby I could ever ask for.  He's smiling almost constantly, he's healthy, almost never fussy, and sleeps for 8 hours at night then 3 more in the morning.  Ian is a great dad who loves being surrounded by his family and taking care of the baby.  I have a good home in which to stay, my food is paid for by government programs I never thought I'd be on, and my health is good enough.

One day, through hard work, I'm sure John's hospital bills will be paid off, as will my school, and maybe I'll even be able to afford a comfortable house in a decent neighborhood. And, if I'm really lucky I'll get that trip to Fiji...or maybe Florida.  

A hard worker has plenty of food, but a person who chases fantasies has no sense.
Proverbs 12:11 

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Little Momma's Momma - For Mother's Day

Ever since I became a mother, I have have found a new love, respect, and appreciation for my own mother.  The more I see my friends' mothers or hear about them, the more I know I have the absolute best mother in the world.

My mother always ensured my life was comfortable - not only financially, but also by feeding the three of us children good, hearty, gourmet meals almost every night of the week, instilling within us manners and excellent grammar, and most of all by by being a godly woman with a servant's heart.

My momma and me, when she was just a few years older than I am now. Circa '93
My mom is amazing.  I've been on the verge of tears this whole day thinking about writing this post because I miss her so much.  Living countries apart is hard.  I miss her homemade sour dough bread; I miss her back scratches; I miss her scent; I miss being able to be held by her whenever I want.  I miss singing with her.  I miss hearing her sing her heart out to Rod Stewart and Carly Simon while washing the dishes. 

We have a unique and wonderful mother-daughter relationship.  This has not always been the case.  In my early high school years and some more recent times I have given her much grief and we used to butt heads constantly because of our similarities.  Now, we have found a way to make our uncanny similar personalities mesh beautifully into a relationship that I regard above most all other relationships of mine.  We constantly are giggling and swapping stories and jokes and I love every minute I spend with her.

Trying to be like my mom, per usual
She has always been encouraging and supportive, never making me feel bad about myself and never letting me think there is something I cannot accomplish.  When I fall ill, she is there with a cold rag, a prayer, and saltines.  When I go astray she runs after me.  When I need a favor, she'll drop everything.  When I go to bed, she is always up for a cuddle.  When I need some discipline, she spanks me...well, not anymore. 

When I was little my momma used to sing to me old timey songs her daddy sang to her as a little girl, and now I sing as many of them as I can remember to my boy.   

I love you
A bushel and a peck
A bushel and a peck
and a hug around the neck
Hug around the neck 
and a barrel and a heap
a barrel and a heap 
and I'm talking in my sleep about you, about you.

I love you
A bushel and a peck
You bet your pretty neck I do. 
Oodle, oodle, oodle, oodle, oodle, oodle, 
oodle, oodle, oodle ooo.

I could write a novel about how awesome my mom is and the things she does for the whole family.  But for now I'll just say that I aspire to be as great of a momma as she is and has always been.  She is my role model and best friend.  I miss you Momma, and can't wait to be with you again in November.  I love you more than I can say.

Parents are the pride of their children. 
Proverbs 17:6b

Happy Mother's Day

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Little Momma, and the Little Things

As I type this, I can hear my son working on a substantial poop. Just what I always wanted! I say to him, not ironically.  You can do it, baby!!  It's funny how these things (bodily functions-poops, burps, toots) are so great coming from a baby.  I would never cheer on an adult while they're pooping, or for being able to.  That's just weird. 
Baby tip: When my boy is gassy there are a couple things I turn to:
-Gripe Water. A yummy medicinal tool for gas and stomach pains and colic
-Exercise.  I bend John in half, putting his feet up to his head and the toots come out like magic!

My life since John has become about 1) somebody other than me, 2) teamwork, and 3) the little things.  All of these were previously not my forte.  If you know me, you laugh at what an understatement that is. 

I never really put anyone before me before my I met John.  It makes life easy when you are your top priority, and for many others I was top priority so it was just hard and unnecessary (to me) to look beyond to the needs of others.  Now I am responsible for a whole other person! Which is terrifying, but somehow the most natural and gratifying, most fulfilling and validating thing.  The only problem is, when you know you're responsible for someone else you have to makes changes in your life to ensure the best for them.  It's not about the world anymore, it's about an eternal outcome for my baby.

Waking up.  It's so hard being a baby.

I never liked teamwork.  I'm kind of bossy because I want things just so, and I always disliked group projects in school.  Now I'm all about being a team with my baby and being a team with his dad.  Its a team effort to nurse and it's the biggest team effort you can take on to parent.  I'm sure I'll elaborate on these in another post.

And finally, the little things.  I am terrible at fine details and the little things in the day that need to get done.  I stress constantly about them and often would put them off or not do them.  Now, they are a must.  In my devotion the other day it talked about how one tends to make checklists of the things you need to to in order to gain control in life, which is what I had been doing minutes before reading this. "The harder you try, the more frustrated you become," I read.  Yes! This is so me! I'm thinking. 

Then it said "Fix your eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen."  I realized if I want the little things to be just that--little things--I need to trust that I can have the peace that passes understanding if I focus on what is unseen and that He'll take care of me and those things.  So I employed this method yesterday, and by gum I got done several more things than I thought I would!  Didn't even have a breakdown along the way.

For my mom:  JDK slept from 11:20-7:20 last night!  Mostly in the crib, but with me for the last couple hours.  Then napped for another four hours.  I am going to have to trim his nails later today because they are long and dirty, and it is gross.  And maybe a bath if I feel up to it (but probably will wait until tomorrow). 

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on You! Isaiah 26:3

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Little Momma, First Post

I feel as though my title might be a little misleading.  I'm not a "little person" in the technical sense but I am very slight, not really tall, just overall petite.  My momma- my role model, best mom, and best friend- calls me her "little momma" and this blog is mostly for her enjoyment as she reads from across the world. 

I'm trying to make it as a young mother of the sweetest baby boy you will ever meet (in my biased opinion), John Dashall Kelley.  He was born premature at 36 weeks on February 17th, 2013-making his graduating year 2031; that year was not previously on my radar before I had him, let me tell you!

Thankfully, my mom got to come back from the country of Jordan to experience part of my pregnancy, my delivery from water-breaking to baby, and the first two and a half months of my son's life.

It's been the most wonderful journey thus far, even with sleepless nights; it's also been an interesting and at times very hard journey with my Crohn's health issues acting up but needing to be "on" for my son.  And of course struggles with faith in hard times.  The hardest part of it all.

While this first blog was more of a preface than a post, I'll have more content soon.  I'll end with a passage that struck me a couple months ago:

Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night. Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.  Oh give me back my joy again; you have broken me--now let me rejoice.
Psalm 52:2-3,7-8